Why Most Women are Desperate for a Baby (and How to Let Go)

Is there something wrong with me? 

or 

Am I just desperate?

10-12 min read that will make you feel and change your perspective

Content note: TTC, fertility struggles, and brief mention of pregnancy loss. Read gently and skip sections if you need.

The question of 

''Is there something wrong with me?'' begins to run the theme of your mind

Every day. 

Every month. 

Every period. 

And these thoughts are also programming your mind in the background:

• Judgement if you're considering alternative methods of conception i.e. IVF

• Friends and family asking if you're trying or when is the baby coming

• The word ''biological clock'' is spoken, seen or heard everywhere

• Trying to please your significant other and give them a child too

• Regret and fear of ''I should have started younger'' creep in

• Intimacy feels like a chore more than pleasure

• You no longer feel ''feminine'' or ''womanly''

I mean the list is truly endless 

and, let's be real it's a horrible feeling to have running the current theme of your life... you just want to take your life back, and have a damn baby.

It really shouldn't be this hard right?

Being a modern day woman who's:

• Probably working

• Trying to maintain her physical looks

• Trying to maintain her emotional wellbeing

• In a relationship/dating

• Trying to keep up a social life

• Living with a hormonal imbalance condition and/or other conditions

• Factoring in trying for a baby and, it's just not happening.

• The list goes on

*Take a deep breath in and out* 

Slowly, your life feels like a PA's google calendar... and a girl just wants to have fun!

The dagger when a friend or family member mentions they are pregnant after you've been trying so long just hits so deep. Then to add fuel to the fire, she tells you how quickly she got pregnant! *internal scream with a smile on my face*

Might I add these feelings are so painful when you have been pregnant but it didn't reach full term.

The pain of what could have been can often be unbearable.

Desperation feels like something out of your control no matter how much you try.

The anxiety beating through your chest each day after ovulation.

The thoughts of ''Am I pregnant yet?''

Patiently waiting the next longest 12+ days of your life to see if you get that double line on the pregnancy test.

Questioning every sign and symptom - Is this PMS or Pregnancy?

It's negative.

The silence in the bathroom of so many unspoken heartbreaks in that very moment.

Desperation increases the stress within our bodies

Stress can impede conception.

Then we question if that's the reason we didn't conceive

Questions. Questions. Questions.

Woman to woman, the feeling of constant desperation just feels a bit you know... unnatural 

Desperation makes you feel like:

''what could I be doing MORE?''

Instead of
''What could I be doing LESS''

Desperation leads to comparison.

Comparison is the thief of all joy.
 

This feeling disconnects you from:

Your body.

Your innate feminine being. 

Your ability to trust God, yourself or what you believe in to allow what's meant for you to happen.

Anyway, you're probably wondering...

''How can I change this feeling from desperation to letting go/trust?'' 

Simple answer is, connect. 

If you've read my last newsletter you know that ''Fertility is a lifestyle'' 

But, it's more than just going to the gym, taking supplements and eating well.

Regaining trust and connection with your body is something not spoken about.
After months of failed conception, we lose trust in ourselves and our bodies ability to do something ''biologically innate''.

So..

Connect with your significant other (sex is supposed to be fun not a chore!)

Connect back with God/what/who you believe. 

Connect to your body. i.e. To ACTUALLY be in your body

Connect with your emotions. 

How you connect, is your choice, but there's need to rush the process. 

Because society has taught us to disconnect, figure it out on our own, connect through a screen and/or rely on apps to tell us what to do with our bodies (back in the day, apps didn't exist, but it's also a blessing and useful tool!). 

Disconnection feels like a chase; we feel foreign in our bodies.

Connection feels soft, natural and inviting.

How your body melts when your partner says ''I've got you'', holds you in and you're reminded you're not in this alone.

You're no longer ashamed of the pain.

You feel connected emotionally, physically, spiritually, intimately.

Your nervous system is calmer.

You go from fight or flight to calm and conceive.
*Take a deep breath in and out*

This is what connection feels like, it's like that calming spark for the first time, it deepens with trust and time.

Trust building is a constant process. 

Letting go takes time. 

Do less, feel more.

It's time to feel safe in your body again.

Affirmation: What’s meant for me will arrive in perfect time. I release control and lean into trust.

When things change, results change.
If you're looking for change click here 

This is exactly the process I go through with my clients.

If this is the head and body space you want to be in, you can book in your free consultation here.
 

Let's delve into how we can help you connect and let go. 

Lots of love,

Sarah